Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense.
~Rumi~
There is a place that exists beyond my regular incessant mind chatter of successes and failures, of right speaking and wrong behaviors, of missed connections and childhood dreams, of unknown history and gained opportunities... out beyond all of that there is a place, a field that speaks to my heart. Born in the town of Pila, Poland, I returned when I was thirteen with my family. I had no memory of this place, and yet...I can't adequately describe the first sense I had when we drove past the wheat fields-it was the feeling of coming home.
Yet there I was, ashamed to speak in my broken tongue, meeting all of these people I didn't know that were my family. All of these years living apart, in Canada, I had dreams of what my family would be like. Loving, welcoming, kind. I imagined I would feel a sense of belonging. In some senses, I did. They were welcoming, loving, funny, and generous. It was amazing to hear stories about my parents' childhood. One of my favorite memories from this trip was going to a candy store in my mother's hometown and a stranger, after much staring, asked if I was "Mariola's daughter". A bit alarmed, I said yes. She told me that I "looked just like my mother did as a child". Having very few pictures from my mother's childhood, this chance occurrence was a gift.
Now, fifteen years later, and twenty-six years since we first left Poland, I am returning. It seems unreal-I have been talking about going back to Europe for years! My partner Blane had called me months ago because he heard of great flights to London. He knew moving to Europe was my dream, and very selflessly he encouraged me to go after it. He wanted me to be completely happy and fulfilled in our lives together-how did I get so lucky? After I bought my one-way ticket, I realized that spending a year in Europe was not worth it without sharing the memories with the one I love. We decided to travel 10 days together in the UK and then I would have 5 weeks to gallivant across Europe.
The first time I saw this poem by the 13th century philosopher Rumi I was mesmerized by the words. With less than six months to go, I am nervous about this adventure. Out beyond my ideas (and truthfully, my fears), I crave profound connection to my culture, my family history, and these people who are part of my blood. Struck by the idea of connecting where there is no "other", no right and wrong... where even language doesn't make sense and all there is are people sharing their dreams, passions, and souls with one another. Just being with one another in a sacred sense of connection. That is the space I want to create in these travels.
August 7th, we are counting down to you...
~Ania
Yet there I was, ashamed to speak in my broken tongue, meeting all of these people I didn't know that were my family. All of these years living apart, in Canada, I had dreams of what my family would be like. Loving, welcoming, kind. I imagined I would feel a sense of belonging. In some senses, I did. They were welcoming, loving, funny, and generous. It was amazing to hear stories about my parents' childhood. One of my favorite memories from this trip was going to a candy store in my mother's hometown and a stranger, after much staring, asked if I was "Mariola's daughter". A bit alarmed, I said yes. She told me that I "looked just like my mother did as a child". Having very few pictures from my mother's childhood, this chance occurrence was a gift.
Now, fifteen years later, and twenty-six years since we first left Poland, I am returning. It seems unreal-I have been talking about going back to Europe for years! My partner Blane had called me months ago because he heard of great flights to London. He knew moving to Europe was my dream, and very selflessly he encouraged me to go after it. He wanted me to be completely happy and fulfilled in our lives together-how did I get so lucky? After I bought my one-way ticket, I realized that spending a year in Europe was not worth it without sharing the memories with the one I love. We decided to travel 10 days together in the UK and then I would have 5 weeks to gallivant across Europe.
The first time I saw this poem by the 13th century philosopher Rumi I was mesmerized by the words. With less than six months to go, I am nervous about this adventure. Out beyond my ideas (and truthfully, my fears), I crave profound connection to my culture, my family history, and these people who are part of my blood. Struck by the idea of connecting where there is no "other", no right and wrong... where even language doesn't make sense and all there is are people sharing their dreams, passions, and souls with one another. Just being with one another in a sacred sense of connection. That is the space I want to create in these travels.
August 7th, we are counting down to you...
~Ania
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